perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (Default)
Over, overall, I enjoyed it very much. I have some very minor quibbles, but nothing that ruined the overall film. Also, The Husband has a theory:

Cut for spoilers and teh ghey )
perpetual_motion: big damn hero (not who you're thinking) (fuck yeah iron man)
I've been fighting a massive head cold since Wednesday, and I currently sound like Kathleen Turner: very smoky, very raspy. Which lead to this moment:

Me: "I'm researching presses, and I can't find a mission statement for the big one. It links back to the main corporate page and doesn't even give me a decent sound byte."

The Husband: "You sound pissed."

Me: "I'm not."

TH: "You totally sound pissed."

ME: "It's my voice."

Kinda hoping the voice stays until tomorrow. It doesn't hurt and is very fun.
perpetual_motion: tony and steve are besties (totally holding hands behind the shield)
ME: [Explaining women's t-shirt sizes] "They get cut a bunch of different ways, so I need to see the sizing chart before I know what size to order."

THE HUSBAND: "Man, boobs are the worst thing ever." [beat] "When they're not the best thing ever."

I concur.

Also, we're buying a matching set of these

[If you come by tomorrow, it will be a different shirt. We're buying adorable panda bears.]
perpetual_motion: electronics gone sentient is terrifying (goddamned mouthy bastard)
The Husband: You know, the weird thing about being married to you, is now I get fic ideas when I watch shows."

And then he pitched me, "Pam cheats on Jim in New York and comes back to Scranton because she feels bad. Because you hate how she came back, and that thing with the guy who tells her to stay could totally read like they're a thing."

::evil laugh::

Lookit him! Pitching ideas! Interesting ideas!

He does refuse to write it, but still. Ideas!
perpetual_motion: Booster and Beetle 4-evah! (don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh)
Because we seem to do these in couplets.

Background: We're watching King of the Hill on Netflix, and Connie says she'd rather be covering debate tournement finals:

THE HUSBAND: Do you know why that's wrong?
ME: ...It's a weekday?
THE HUSBAND: Nope.
ME: ...Because no one cares?
[commence tickling; The Husband was a high school debater.]
ME: Truce!
THE HUSBAND: Okay. Now, can you tell me why?
ME: I really can't.
THE HUSBAND: Because it's daytime. Debate Tournaments only go on at night.
ME: Oh! Because they don't come out in the day time!
[commence more tickling]

Worth. IT.
perpetual_motion: guy's butt and kyle's embarrassment OTP (jesus christ guy we talked about this)
Before you read, read This XKCD and the roll-over.

ME: [Laughing at the roll-over.] "Oh, that's good. [I attempt to sing some lines of Tik Tok but fail.]

THE HUSBAND: [Sings the rest of the verse.] "What's after that?"

ME: "I don't know. It always turns into "Poker Face" in my head."

THE HUSBAND: [Going to youtube] "You know what this means."

ME: "We're gonna listen to "Poker Face?""

THE HUSBAND: "Guess again."

ME: "You hate me?"

And "Tik Tok" is currently playing. Because HE put it on. ::headdesk::
perpetual_motion: guy gardner's proof of badass (lol whut whut in the butt)
So, The Husband was getting money from my coat pocket and found my blue lantern ring, which he then treated like a piece of evidence in an affair (not an uncommon joke with us).

HIM: "What is this? Is this a ring? Where did you get a ring?"
ME: "It's a Blue Lantern ring. I'll give you a kiss goodbye if you tell me which Lantern it belongs to."
HIM: "The Blue Lanterns."
ME: "That is not what I meant!"
HIM: "You said I had to name the Lantern with the Blue Lantern ring. It's the Blue Lanterns!"
ME: "The emotion, numbnuts."
HIM: "Love?"
ME: "No."
HIM: "The Vagina Havers?"
ME: "That's the Star Sapphires."
HIM: "The Star Sapphires?"
ME: "Yeah."
HIM: "No way. They're not actually called that."
ME: "It's an all-female Lantern corps."
HIM: "Where's my kiss goodbye?"
ME: "Why would you get a kiss goodbye?"
HIM: "I named the Lantern corps!"
ME: "You did not!"
HIM: "Did too! You said it was the Star Sapphires."
ME: "What? No. The Star Sapphires are purple. Blue isn't them. Blue is something else?"
HIM: "...Heart?"
ME: "Lanterns, not Captain Planet's terrorists."
HIM: "So, no kiss?"
ME: "No kiss."

So he did this weird/creepy/hilarious slow motion bit of holding up the Orange Box (it's a collection of video games if you don't know) and giving me a huge, open-mouthed smile and a super-slow thumbs up. I'd GIF it if I could.
perpetual_motion: kill it with ire (time to punch it quiet)
The Husband and I went on a Christmas Money shopping spree tonight. At the last store we visited, we were at the counter, the check-out woman ringing up our purchases, and a guy walked in. He twigged me immediately. Something about the way he walked was off. He did a lap of the store, then walked up to the counter. He interrupted our check-out process to ask if a certain woman was working. The check-out woman told him no. He asked (still interrupting our process) when she'd work next. She told him she didn't know. He asked if she could tell him. She said she would, just as soon as she'd finished ringing up our sale.

And then the guy stood there and stared at all of us while he waited for her to finish. It squicked her out, I could tell. She kept sort of glancing at him, and she couldn't quite keep smiling. She managed to flag down another clerk and asked her to check the schedule. Even after she did that, the guy still stood at the counter, watching all of us.

As we were leaving, I turned to The Husband, and I said, "Fucking creeper."

HIM: "You think so?"
ME: "Totally. You didn't pick up on that?"
HIM: "I dunno. He seemed all right."
ME: "No way. That's an abusive guy in there."
HIM: "Really?"
ME: "He walks in the store and does a lap without talking to anyone. He doesn't know her schedule, and he interrupted the one busy clerk to demand information about the chick."
HIM: "Alternate theory: Maybe they met and got to chatting, and he didn't get her number, but he knew where she worked."
ME: "Nope. No way."
HIM: "Really?"
ME: "If he had come in and done a lap and then asked a non-busy clerk, I probably wouldn't call him a creep, but it's the combination. He came in like he was trying to prove something; he interrupted the single busy person because he's so important, and he's asking after someone who either doesn't know him well enough or like him well enough to give up her working hours."
HIM: "How do you always see this stuff?"
ME: "I'm a girl."

And, really, it's as basic as that. I'm a woman. I live in a world where creepers will show up at my workplace and demand information because, by god, they have a RIGHT to get in my face and possibly harm me because they are MEN.

Not all men are like this--in fact, it's a very small percentage--but they're the men that women always remember. Maybe because they make a point of being remembered for being total assholes. I've always had solid instincts on creeps (thanks, bio dad!), and they've gotten sharper in the last couple of years. One of the things that really honed them in regards to strangers is a book by Gavin De Becker called The Gift of Fear. De Becker is a behavioral expert who's worked with a lot of agencies and individuals, and he wrote the book back in the 90s to help show women (he specifically says he's writing for women) how to spot signs of danger and violence around them. His reason for this is simple: Violence happens to women. It happens a lot. And almost every single time, you can spot it coming if you trust your intuition.

Your intuition, De Becker argues, is just your common sense working more quickly than you can keep up with, but if you train it, you'll be able to use it effectively. I'm an intuitive person. I can walk into a room and have a good idea of whether or not shit is about to go down. I can read people pretty well, and I'm usually the one going, "I don't care how nice he's being now. He's a fucking creep! DUMP HIM FOR FUCK'S SAKE." And then, two weeks later, I will usually say, "I fucking TOLD YOU," and then that person will call me a heartless bitch and so on and so forth.

If you're a woman, you should read the book. It's a good read. If you trigger reading about other people being injured or killed, skip it. De Becker doesn't hold back on descriptions (but is not, in my estimation, sensational with them), using former cases of his to showcase his points, and I think it's all used well, but it may make some of you twitchy. He also flat-out states that if you know you're in an abusive relationship and you stay in it, it's your own fault. He says the psychological aspect of abuse does factor in but stands by his view that there are people (even total strangers) who are willing to help women out of abusive relationships. And perhaps this will make a few of you see red, but I don't see what he's saying as victim blaming. He's not saying, "You're in an abusive relationship because you deserved it." He's saying, "If you know you're in one, and you don't make attempts to remove yourself from it, you're not protecting yourself, and that is your fault."

So, that's what I wanted to say. Trust your instincts and learn to train them. Don't go around hyper-aware of every possible danger. Learn the signs of actual danger. Those are the dangers you have to worry about.
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (Default)
To understand this quote, you have to understand two things: I have barely played any of the Guitar Hero/Rock Band games, and I really, really hate it when someone tries to "help" by touching my controller.

ME: [Having a mild spazz because an easy song uses a the blue key] "The fuck? What the fuck?"
THE HUSBAND: "I didn't think the easy level used the last two keys."
ME: "Well, looks like it does."
HIM: "Yeah. I could help. I could reach over and push the buttons. I know how much you love that."
ME: "I would murder you."

That being said, anyone have tips for syncing a non-auto sync guitar to an HD TV? The Husband feels the guitars are lagging. As I can barely play anything beyond the "warm up" mode, I have no opinion on the matter.
perpetual_motion: Booster and Beetle 4-evah! (don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh)
But before that, let me give you a timeline:

Fall 2004--Run into The Husband duet to mutual friends. Begin dating.
Spring 2005--The Boy (as he was known then) invites me to his grandparents' house for Easter. I go and meet his grandparents and some cousins. From this point on, I'm involved in all family holidays where I can make it. The grandparents are there each time.

May 2008--Wedding! The Boy because The Husband, and his grandparents are in attendance.

We continue to go to family holidays, dinners, and the like as a couple. Numerous times, The Husband's grandparents are in attendance.

September 2010--Having loaded the car with as much crap as possible, we start the move of doom. The Husband and I are in one car. The Husband's mother and grandmother are in another. We spend five days on the road together, and then another two days getting lost in the city together.

It is also during this trip that The Husband and I realize we've hit our six-year anniversary as a couple.

December 8, 2010--I get a birthday card in the mail, return address, The Husband's grandparents. Inside, there is a lovely note, and a signature, followed by this final line:

[The Husband's] grandparents

Every. Single. Time. I love that woman (it's The Husband's grandmother who makes out the cards). We spent five days in very close company not three months ago, and she's still making sure I don't get confused. It will never, ever stop being funny.
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (Default)
Me: [Quoting from my paper.] "There must be proof that some portions of comic books have to exist in order for comic books to be defined as comic books. These criteria have to be non-negotiable. Without them, one must be able to prove that comic books would not be comic books."

The Husband: [deep, happy sigh]

Me: "What?"

The Husband: "You're writing epistemology, and you don't even know it." [beat] "It's sexy."

Me: "Okay. But does it work in the bounds of the paper?"

The Husband: "Yes, that's what I'm saying." [beat] "Now say 'A is A'."

Me: "A is A."

The Husband: [happy sigh]
perpetual_motion: Booster and Beetle 4-evah! (don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh)
The Husband: "How do you write a 4,000 page poem?"
Me: "Well, first you shove your head up your ass."

Thanks, Wiki. I wanted to be a goof tonight.

[And I just noticed I misspelled "marriage" in my tag. Well, shit.]
perpetual_motion: guy gardner's proof of badass (lol whut whut in the butt)
[The Husband was putting away ice and noticed a leftover pie crust from Thanksgiving.]

HIM: "What should we do with the other pie crust?"
ME: "Make a pie."
HIM: [A LOOK] "Thank you, Wisenheimer. What kind of pie?"
ME: "Eatin' pie."
HIM: "It's not a pig."

I keep swearing to him I'm going to start blogging examples of us talking like dorks, so here's the first one. And now, a vintage one:

[Driving down the street, The Husband spots a mailman.]

HIM: "You know, you hit them, letters fly everywhere. Like feathers."
ME: "Quit learning things from cartoons!"
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (crazy one animated)
[The Husband comes out of the shower as I am literally squeeing over the preview pages of "Emerald Warriors" that were posted to [livejournal.com profile] guy_kyle

ME: "Emerald Warrior preview pages are up!"
HIM: "Huh?"
ME: "Emerald Warrior preview pages are up!"
HIM: o.O ... "What's that?"
ME: "...What?"
HIM: "What are you talking about?"
ME: "Emerald Warriors."
HIM: "Which is?"
ME: "Seriously?!"
HIM: "Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about."
ME: "EMERALD WARRIORS. Comic. Talking about it for SIX MONTHS."
HIM: "So, is it, like, superheroes?"
ME: "It's GUY."
HIM: "Guy?"
ME: o.O ... o.O ... "Seriously, are you fucking with me?"
HIM: "What?"
ME: "Are you fucking with me? Are you just saying shit to make me look at you funny?"
HIM: "Honey, I sincerely have no idea what you're talking about."
ME: "GUY GARDNER'S COMIC BOOK."
HIM: "Doesn't he already have a book?"
ME: "You ARE fucking with me!"
HIM: "No! I'm not! He has a comic! I know he has a comic!"
ME: "No, he's IN a comic. Emerald Warriors is going to be HIS book."
HIM: "Huh?"
ME: "Oh, dear fucking Christ."
HIM: "What?"
ME: "Never mind."
HIM: "No. What?! Explain it to me!"
ME: "Guy Gardner is getting his own book. As a Green Lantern. Written by Tomasi."
HIM: "Who's Tomasi?"
ME: "Just...Go put your pants on."

So, yeah. My Husband, the wonderful man that he is, who listens to me talk Lanterns on a WEEKLY basis (at LEAST), has apparently blanked out EVERYTHING I've said about EW since I first (and this is true) pumped my fist in the air and screamed, "HELL YES YOU ARE" when it was announced Guy was going to headline a book.

Slow clap, anyone?

(Also, let it be known that the preview pages made me HAPPY. Oh, hell, YES my lantern is getting his own book.)
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (Oh hai guyz!)
The Husband and I were discussing "Burn Notice" because we're getting the DVDs off Netflix so we can catch up, and the following occured:

ME: "Apparently, there's an episode where Michael makes fun of Horatio Caine."
HUSBAND: [Removes glasses.] "Maybe David Caruso will..." [puts on glasses] "Raise Caine."
ME: "You did NOT."

Yeah. We did that.
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (they're holding hands)
Are Otacon and Snake gay? Or are they super-mega gay? My money's on the second.

Also, can we rename Otacon "Mr. Exposition Man"? Pretty please?

EDIT:

OTACON: [Expositioning like the pro he is.]
ME: "Thank you, magic voice!"
HUSBAND: [Explaining the undetectable communicator]
ME: "No wonder Otacon talks to him so much."

I got a point. I win.
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (sexy jack brings sexy back)
The Husband just got back from the gym.

HIM: "I found "Law & Order" on."
ME: "TNT?"
HIM: "Yeah. I really like Jack as DA. I mean, he's good as...DA...what is his title?"
ME: "He was EDA, and now he's DADA."
[beat]
HIM: "He's DADA?"
ME: "Yes."
HIM: "So he's teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts?"
ME: "Sure."

Also, the conversation reminded me that I owe you lot the rest of last season's post-ep scenes. Will post at least one shortly. And, no, I still haven't finished last season. I am a bum.

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