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perpetual_motion) wrote2005-02-18 04:51 pm
perpetual_motion) wrote2005-02-18 04:51 pm
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Ficlet: Giving Up on Sleep [1/1] McGee/Dinozzo [NCIS] [Post-Script for "Witness"]
Title: Giving Up on Sleep [Post-script for “Witness”]
Author: Perpetual Motion
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: McGee/Dinozzo
Spoilers: “Witness”
Summary: Three hours, six drafts, and one thought.
Dis: Belongs to CBS and Bellisario. I’m just making this up.
Author’s Notes: A post-script for “Witness”.
Giving Up on Sleep
By Perpetual Motion
He works on the letter for three hours. He goes through six drafts. He’s not sure what to say past ‘I’m sorry I let your daughter die.’ He doesn’t even know his hand is cramping until Tony walks over to his desk and pries his fingers off of his pen. “Come on, Tim.”
“I’m not done.”
“Trust me, you won’t ever be.” Tony turns Tim’s hand palm up and starts massaging Tim’s fingers. “You can write all the drafts you want, and you can send them all, but they won’t do you any good. You’ll remember that one other thing you wanted to add, and then the one thing after that, and then the one thing after that.”
“Like you would know.” It’s out before Tim can stop it, and he winces when he realizes what he’s said. “I mean-“
“I know what you meant.” Tony’s voice isn’t displeased. “I’m not supposed to be that deep, right?” His voice doesn’t hold any self-deprecation. It’s a very matter-of-fact question.
“Tony, I-“
“Don’t worry about it.” Tony pulls Tim to his feet and hands him his coat. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ll buy you a dozen beers.”
Tim stares at his coat. “The letter…” He doesn’t know what else to say.
“Give it a day. It’ll be easier. Trust me.”
“Okay.” Tim starts to slip on his coat. “ How many?”
“How many, what?”
“How many have you written?”
“Seven.” Tony hands Tim his backpack. He’s already wearing his. “Five separate ones from Baltimore and two from here.”
“Nothing from Phildelphia or Peoria?”
“No.”
Tim lets Tony lead him to the elevator. “Five in Baltimore?”
“Two that I couldn’t solve and three where the victim was a bystander or only involved as a witness.”
“Like Erin.”
“Yeah, like Erin.” Tony presses the down button for the elevator. “Sometimes you just can’t do anything for anyone on cases.”
Tim stays quiet until they’re in the parking garage. He rubs at his eyes tiredly and walks very close to Tony. “I hate people, sometimes.” He’s said it. It’s out. He feels mildly better.
“Just remember that there’s a difference between people and murderers, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
Tony gives Tim a quick smile. “It’s a good place to start.” He unlocks the passenger door to his car and holds it open for Tim. “Beer and pizza?”
Tim shakes his head. “Sleep.” He puts his head against the headrest and listens to Tony walk around the car. Tony doesn’t speak as he gets settled and starts the car, and Tim’s glad. For all of Tony’s useless chatter most of the time, he has an uncanny sense of when to be quiet. Tim speaks when he feels the bump that means that they’ve left the parking garage. “Tony.”
“Yeah?” Tony’s voice is low.
“She was a genuinely nice person.” Tim feels the tears run down his face before he can stop them.
Tony reaches over and curls his fingers around Tim’s knee. “I know, Tim.” He doesn’t say anything else.
Tim cries silently the whole trip home. He let’s Tony mother hen him up the stairs to his apartment, and he’s no help at all when Tony undresses him and lays him on the bed. He watches with complete detachment as Tony strips to his boxers and climbs in next to him. As soon as Tony’s prone, Tim curls against him and presses a kiss to his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Tony strokes Tim’s hair and murmurs soft nonsense against his forehead.
“What I said, about your not knowing.”
“I don’t know what it’s like. This is your pain.” Tony tugs lightly at Tim’s hair to make him look up. “It’s okay. Really.” He kisses Tim. “Just try to sleep.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Then talk to me. Tell me anything.”
Tim sniffles and tries to unjumble his thoughts. “She was so nice.” It’s all that he can concentrate on.
“Tell me about her niceness.”
So Tim does tell Tony, quietly, as they lie and bed and give up on sleep.
Author: Perpetual Motion
Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: McGee/Dinozzo
Spoilers: “Witness”
Summary: Three hours, six drafts, and one thought.
Dis: Belongs to CBS and Bellisario. I’m just making this up.
Author’s Notes: A post-script for “Witness”.
Giving Up on Sleep
By Perpetual Motion
He works on the letter for three hours. He goes through six drafts. He’s not sure what to say past ‘I’m sorry I let your daughter die.’ He doesn’t even know his hand is cramping until Tony walks over to his desk and pries his fingers off of his pen. “Come on, Tim.”
“I’m not done.”
“Trust me, you won’t ever be.” Tony turns Tim’s hand palm up and starts massaging Tim’s fingers. “You can write all the drafts you want, and you can send them all, but they won’t do you any good. You’ll remember that one other thing you wanted to add, and then the one thing after that, and then the one thing after that.”
“Like you would know.” It’s out before Tim can stop it, and he winces when he realizes what he’s said. “I mean-“
“I know what you meant.” Tony’s voice isn’t displeased. “I’m not supposed to be that deep, right?” His voice doesn’t hold any self-deprecation. It’s a very matter-of-fact question.
“Tony, I-“
“Don’t worry about it.” Tony pulls Tim to his feet and hands him his coat. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ll buy you a dozen beers.”
Tim stares at his coat. “The letter…” He doesn’t know what else to say.
“Give it a day. It’ll be easier. Trust me.”
“Okay.” Tim starts to slip on his coat. “ How many?”
“How many, what?”
“How many have you written?”
“Seven.” Tony hands Tim his backpack. He’s already wearing his. “Five separate ones from Baltimore and two from here.”
“Nothing from Phildelphia or Peoria?”
“No.”
Tim lets Tony lead him to the elevator. “Five in Baltimore?”
“Two that I couldn’t solve and three where the victim was a bystander or only involved as a witness.”
“Like Erin.”
“Yeah, like Erin.” Tony presses the down button for the elevator. “Sometimes you just can’t do anything for anyone on cases.”
Tim stays quiet until they’re in the parking garage. He rubs at his eyes tiredly and walks very close to Tony. “I hate people, sometimes.” He’s said it. It’s out. He feels mildly better.
“Just remember that there’s a difference between people and murderers, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
Tony gives Tim a quick smile. “It’s a good place to start.” He unlocks the passenger door to his car and holds it open for Tim. “Beer and pizza?”
Tim shakes his head. “Sleep.” He puts his head against the headrest and listens to Tony walk around the car. Tony doesn’t speak as he gets settled and starts the car, and Tim’s glad. For all of Tony’s useless chatter most of the time, he has an uncanny sense of when to be quiet. Tim speaks when he feels the bump that means that they’ve left the parking garage. “Tony.”
“Yeah?” Tony’s voice is low.
“She was a genuinely nice person.” Tim feels the tears run down his face before he can stop them.
Tony reaches over and curls his fingers around Tim’s knee. “I know, Tim.” He doesn’t say anything else.
Tim cries silently the whole trip home. He let’s Tony mother hen him up the stairs to his apartment, and he’s no help at all when Tony undresses him and lays him on the bed. He watches with complete detachment as Tony strips to his boxers and climbs in next to him. As soon as Tony’s prone, Tim curls against him and presses a kiss to his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Tony strokes Tim’s hair and murmurs soft nonsense against his forehead.
“What I said, about your not knowing.”
“I don’t know what it’s like. This is your pain.” Tony tugs lightly at Tim’s hair to make him look up. “It’s okay. Really.” He kisses Tim. “Just try to sleep.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Then talk to me. Tell me anything.”
Tim sniffles and tries to unjumble his thoughts. “She was so nice.” It’s all that he can concentrate on.
“Tell me about her niceness.”
So Tim does tell Tony, quietly, as they lie and bed and give up on sleep.