Jul. 1st, 2010

perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (Default)


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perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (dear god not again)
I would like to take some time on this, "America's Hat Day" (which you crazy Hat-People call "Canada") and thank you for your many, many contributions to my life.

Without America's Hat I would not know the joy of watching one guy with no teeth hit another guy with no teeth in the face with a big stick. In my country, we call that "assault," but you guys call it "hockey," and it's legal! Cool!

Also, without all of you in America's Hat, I would not have "Wilby Wonderful" or "Due South" or "Da Vinci's Inquest" or "Forever Knight" or any American television show from the last twenty years that required a forest that totally looks like Oregon. Or maybe upper New York State but totally, totally doesn't look like America's Hat. Really.

And without your procreating up there in the Hat, I wouldn't have Callum Keith Rennie or Catherine O'Hara or Dan Akroyd or Caroline Rhea or James Doohan or the motherfucking god who is The Shatner.

You did give us Kritsen Kreuk, which is so not cool, but we did try to take you over that one time, so I guess it's only fair.

So, in short, thank you, America's Hat, for all you've done for us! You seem like a neat place, and your syrup of maples is delicious! If you see Zap Rowsdower, tell him he has a stupid name:




But seriously, you Canadian bitches are fine, and your take on bacon is delicious! Hope you had a great day!

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