Wanna Get Ficced?

My portfolio is due Monday, and I have spent four or five hours on it today (lost count). And I'm gonna be up a while.

Dear grad school: Still fucking hate you.

And a long, ranty post about people at this university not responding to their fucking e-mail is forthcoming.

Fuck you, grad school.

And this one's a doozy.

I'm in International Technical Communication this summer, and the final project for the class is a bilingual website that has to go live by August 10. I have called and e-mailed around town looking for help, as has another team member, and the best we've come up with is a possible "maybe" from translation services at another university.

Here's what I need: Someone who can take about 2,500 to 3,000 words of English text (possibly fewer words) and translate it to Traditional Chinese characters.

Here's the problem: The turn-around has to be very quick. I'd get you the text the evening of July 29 and need it back by August 3rd or 4th. I also can't pay much. The full budget for the project is $50. On the upside, you would have $50.

If you have translation experience and want to help out, I will probably buy you a pony. If you are someone studying Chinese and this project would look awesome in your portfolio, I will probably buy you a pony. If you are someone who knows Traditional Chinese and English and is comfortable translating, I will probably buy you a pony.

In short, I will probably buy you a pony because you will save me and my team a lot of stress.

Drop me a comment if you can help or know of someone who could help. Any suggestions you've got would be appreciated.

(FYI, we've contacted the world languages department here, but that turned up nothing, and I've got queries in to a half-dozen translation agencies, and that has also turned up nothing.)

Although, given the last couple of weeks, I am surprised as hell at that fact.

Guys, grad school is HARD. Well, not hard, exactly, but really, really, really busy. With lots of high expectations, re: my genius, and so on.

My third copyedit was, I fear, an absolute hot mess. Part of it was my prof pushed the due date out two days, which was a fucking gift when it happened. You know, until I completely forgot it was due on Friday and thought it was due on Monday and was up until 3:30 on Saturday morning trying to finish it after remembering it was actually due. Whoops.

But, it's in, and I think my copyediting test went okay. If I got 90% of the errors, I don't have to take the final. If I have to take the final, I really don't know that I'll do well, as I'm getting fairly burned out from the term right now, and it's another couple of weeks until Finals.

Hrm, this is getting fairly sad trombone, isn't it?

Okay, good things! Good things!

I have to write a final article for my advanced tech writing class and damned if I haven't figured that bastard out. I've been warring with the way to approach it, and I think I've finally got it. I'm writing about using comics as technical writing, and I came to the conclusion that it's not HOW to do it (covered by another guy very succinctly), but WHY tech writers should try to do it. I've got a list of points! And the publication I'm writing for (we have to write for a particular publication, even if we may not get published) doesn't require a bibiliography!

Also, the grad student word count for the course (it's blended, so undergrads do slightly less work) is 5,000 words minimum, and I hit that on my discourse community journal. Never, ever ask me to research and write up my findings unless you want to read A LOT. Having hit word count, it means I don't have to strain for word count on the article. If I finish it off in 1000 words, no big! They're bonus!

Also, I've been catching up on comics inbetween homework and am prepping a big comics post that will make at least some of you happy. And I'm watching "Magnificent Seven," which will bring on a half-rant post which I'm sure will amuse the rest of you.

Okay, back to work. Articles to read. Stuff to write. Victory arms to throw.

And how's you, flist?

Consider this your open bitching thread, whether it be work, personal, school, or whatever. I need to let off some steam, and I'm sure some of you do too. So, let's do this.

OH MY GOD GRAD SCHOOL WHAT THE FUCK.

The terms at my university are 11 weeks long. I came from a semester system, which was 16 weeks long, and the adjustment has been kind of a brick to the face. I felt like I was really in the swing this term. I've been keeping up and even getting a little ahead, and everything's gone well. My grades have been consistently awesome (if I don't 4.0 this term, I will eat my fucking hat).

But now? HOLY JESUS CHRIST GRAD SCHOOL YOU WANT ME DEAD. Let me show you what's due this week. You ready?

Monday: 32 pages of reading in a book I fucking HATE because the dumb cow talks about tech writing in such a way that it is obvious she does not know what it is. And I have to slog through the bullshit because we'll have a fucking QUIZ. Which, yes, is only ten points, max, and not in any way a major part of my grade, but HI I'M A TYPE A AND I KNOW IT AND I HAVE STOPPED TRYING TO STOP MY CRAZY STUDY TENDENCIES.

Tuesday: Nothing due, but I have work for five hours, and while I LOVE my job and love that it's also my indy study (saving me LOADS of time in having to find time to finish an indy study), it's still five hours I could be at the library. Or killing myself. You know, like you do.

Wednesday: OH GOD WEDNESDAY JUST DIE ALREADY. I have a copyedit for a 20-page excerpt due, and to call it a steaming pile of epic fucking fail is being too kind. The information is good, and it's not that I hate the content, but OH MY GOD HOW DID THIS VERSION GET ANYWHERE NEAR AN EDITOR WITHOUT SOMEONE BEING EMBARRASSED TO SHIT? I have to do two rounds. One to just get basic typos, and the follow-up to MOVE EVERYTHING AROUND. JESUS.

Thursday and Friday: Nothing due, but let me show you what I'll be scrambling to finish because THE COPYEDIT FUCKING HATES ME. There's a paper about my industry, which does not have a word count restriction and is now, at maybe 2/3rds complete, 2500 words. And it has to go up on the online discussion board for the class, and then I have to read everyone else's industry discussions and pretend to give a shit. Oh, and there is the article I have to write for that same class. Which requires me to finish reading all the articles that came before mine so that I have a chance of making my point coherently. And then there's the studying I need to do for my copyediting exam so that I can--if I can get a 90% or higher--not take the final, and while that may sound easy, it's a "find errors and fix them exam," not a "so would you do a, b, or c," exam. And while I did get an 85% on the basic version of the exam without studying, I don't know what I'm going to be looking at or how it's gonna break down and HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL THIS WEEK. WHY DO YOU WANT ME DEAD.

And next week? Oh, god, let's not even. The article, like I mentioned, and there's gonna be another excerpt to plow through. And I have to get my indy study binder together, and I have to sleep at some point, and I should probably relax or something. And I haven't read for fun in A WEEK AND A HALF. And making tea feels like effort.

So, yeah, that's me. What sucks for you?

I sent a very polite e-mail to a prof asking after final grades on a collection of assignments that weren't marked in Blackboard. I sent this e-mail on Thursday. I still have no response from said prof. Yes, final grades are in, but I have a right to know my individual grades. And I would think, should a student request such a collection of grades, it'd be something a prof would have at the ready.

Said prof gets until Monday night. If I don't hear anything by then, I'm sending another e-mail. I want to know my fucking grades.

And the paper continues! I figured out, while walking home after dinner, why this first part of the paper has been nagging me so. I'm making all the points I need to make, but I'm not leading into them properly. Genius!

Also, the fact that I'm describing 2600 words as "first part of the paper" makes me die a little inside. The upside: My prof won't have to be concerned that I phoned it in.

So, off to add in bits and piece, and then? Oh, and then! Then, I may actually write about my research. That's right. 2600 words and I haven't even started the section on what I researched or how. I've only done the bits about the research to begin my research.

::reads last line::

Holy christ but I'm an academic. Send booze.

...

And porn.

My brain is not functioning on an academic level. Since 3:00, I've written 400 words. This is not good. I know what I need to say, and I know how I need to say it but it's just...not there.

And I have no other choice than to push forward, because this thing is due Friday, and I need at least a day to proof it.

Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Pretty sure I just crashed Word, and I'm not sure when I saved last.

Fucking paper.

::headdesk::

EDIT: And now Word is fucking around with one of my paragraphs. It's decided it's going to indent the whole thing whether I want it to or not.

WORD THIS IS WHY NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU.

As we come properly into finals week:

--I have to take two quizzes for document design. They're actually parts of the same quiz, but my prof broken them up to make it easier to get through. It does help.

--I have to reprint a piece for my portfolio because it had a widow and an orphan on it (those are design terms, believe it or not), and it doesn't have those problems on-screen, so I've got to figure it out, though it'll probably be an easy fix.

--I have to show up for a discussion with the author the class wrote the editing letters to. The prof swore it wasn't mandatory, since it's not set at our finals time, but when I spoke to him, the translation was, "Oh, but you should show up, and I'll be making note if you don't." Which. Gah. JUST MAKE IT MANDATORY ASSHOLE. (To be fair, he's an all right guy besides that, but seriously.)

--THE PAPER. OH GOD THE PAPER.

And what finals stress/other stress are you having, folks? Let's make it a bitchfest!