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I was looking for a documentary to watch tonight (I love them madly), and I came across one titled, "Paul McCartney Really is Dead: The Last Will and Testament of George Harrison." The set-up is that this no-fucking-name entertainment company in Hollywood got a package postmarked from London in 2005--two years after the death of George Harrison. The package included a mini-cassette recorder and two tapes, which were George Harrison, after the 1999 attack in his home, explaining that Paul really did die, and that a lookalike fake was brought it to stop fans from killing themselves if news of Paul's death got out (seriously), and so MI-5 helped set up the cover up (seriously), and the band kept going, but the "actual" Beatles kept slipping hints of Paul's death into their songs.
This motherfucker was hilarious, but most obviously so with this little bit of information:
Part of the cover-up included a woman named Rita (yes, like in the song), getting a new identity and hush money from MI-5. Who, notably, were willing to constantly threaten murder on the Beatles, but let "Rita" go with hush money. Sure. Okay. So, anyway, "Rita" gets a new name and face, then shows up and demands fake Paul marry her (pre-Linda's death). She is then struck by someone on a scooter, causing her to lose a leg but not die.
"Rita" is Heather Mills. And she was in the car with Paul the night he "died" in 1966. He offered her a ride home, and she realized who he was, freaked, squeezed him super-tight, and caused him to veer off the road and crash.
...okay.
And the fact that she, having been born in 1968, would have been -2? Not even mentioned.
Other hilarious moments:
--"George" (the forensic voice-check on the tapes was "inconclusive") says that John called him on December 1, 1980 and told him he was going to tell, then was dead a week later (on December 8, 1980; the day he did die). Later in the film, "George" recalls the story again but says two weeks passed. Whoops. This documentary is really bad at math.
--John only "acted" crazy so that the evil MI-5 guy wouldn't murder him to death because they had to break up the Beatles after the "truth" was revealed. You know, the "truth" that was proven to be a giant hoax and started--as a joke--by a college student writing a satirical review of "Abbey Road"?
--And John didn't really love Yoko. She was just handy. Guys: Yoko did not break up the Beatles. The Beatles no longer liking each other broke up the Beatles, and that happened before Yoko showed up. All right?
--Also, Paul and Linda were not actually in love. She knew he was fake Paul (because she took lots of photos of them) and blackmailed him into marrying her.
--And Ringo's a simpleton.
--And "George" sounds like one of the Simpson's cast doing a half-ass job to sound like George Harrison.
--But the best? The absolute best? Big scary MI-5 man? His name is MAXWELL. And there's all this stuff about how he was catching all their super-subliminal messages on their album covers (read the article I linked about the college student) but was not, apparently, listening to the music. You know, the music that included an entire song about a dude named Maxwell wanting to kill people? The music that would--if anyone caught on during repeat listens to the records--would have blown the super secret scheme wide open? The Beatles are getting their asses kicked by hired goons (yes, really) because of super-subliminal album art, but a whole song about the murderous MI-5 guy? Totally missed that.
I can not recommend this film highly enough for its sheer hilarity. Seriously. It's fantastic at being a crap conspiracy. Just remember Roger Ebert's rule of symbolism, kids: If you have to wonder if it's symbolism, it's not.
This motherfucker was hilarious, but most obviously so with this little bit of information:
Part of the cover-up included a woman named Rita (yes, like in the song), getting a new identity and hush money from MI-5. Who, notably, were willing to constantly threaten murder on the Beatles, but let "Rita" go with hush money. Sure. Okay. So, anyway, "Rita" gets a new name and face, then shows up and demands fake Paul marry her (pre-Linda's death). She is then struck by someone on a scooter, causing her to lose a leg but not die.
"Rita" is Heather Mills. And she was in the car with Paul the night he "died" in 1966. He offered her a ride home, and she realized who he was, freaked, squeezed him super-tight, and caused him to veer off the road and crash.
...okay.
And the fact that she, having been born in 1968, would have been -2? Not even mentioned.
Other hilarious moments:
--"George" (the forensic voice-check on the tapes was "inconclusive") says that John called him on December 1, 1980 and told him he was going to tell, then was dead a week later (on December 8, 1980; the day he did die). Later in the film, "George" recalls the story again but says two weeks passed. Whoops. This documentary is really bad at math.
--John only "acted" crazy so that the evil MI-5 guy wouldn't murder him to death because they had to break up the Beatles after the "truth" was revealed. You know, the "truth" that was proven to be a giant hoax and started--as a joke--by a college student writing a satirical review of "Abbey Road"?
--And John didn't really love Yoko. She was just handy. Guys: Yoko did not break up the Beatles. The Beatles no longer liking each other broke up the Beatles, and that happened before Yoko showed up. All right?
--Also, Paul and Linda were not actually in love. She knew he was fake Paul (because she took lots of photos of them) and blackmailed him into marrying her.
--And Ringo's a simpleton.
--And "George" sounds like one of the Simpson's cast doing a half-ass job to sound like George Harrison.
--But the best? The absolute best? Big scary MI-5 man? His name is MAXWELL. And there's all this stuff about how he was catching all their super-subliminal messages on their album covers (read the article I linked about the college student) but was not, apparently, listening to the music. You know, the music that included an entire song about a dude named Maxwell wanting to kill people? The music that would--if anyone caught on during repeat listens to the records--would have blown the super secret scheme wide open? The Beatles are getting their asses kicked by hired goons (yes, really) because of super-subliminal album art, but a whole song about the murderous MI-5 guy? Totally missed that.
I can not recommend this film highly enough for its sheer hilarity. Seriously. It's fantastic at being a crap conspiracy. Just remember Roger Ebert's rule of symbolism, kids: If you have to wonder if it's symbolism, it's not.
