Fuckin' LJ
Nov. 8th, 2004 11:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perpetual_motionI had no idea lj would just cut off when it decided that you'd taken up enough space. Well, fine.
I give you the last page and a half of the NaNo that should have posted with the first entry.
“Careful the estate of Georgia O’Keefe doesn’t find out.”
Linda chuckled. “I don’t think they’d mind. It’s still under debate whether Georgia O’Keefe meant for her paintings to look like flowery vaginas.”
“Do you think that’s where the tampon companies got the stupid idea to scent everything with ‘fresh scent’ and ‘summer breeze’?”
“I have no idea.” Linda hopped off the counter and opened the fridge to find something to drink. “The whole thing is preposterous, anyway.”
Precocious didn’t bother agreeing. They were into an age-old conversation that they had whenever they needed to distract themselves or were on their periods. “They could at least make them smell like something good. Why not ‘chocolate sprinkle’ tampons?”
“Because there are people out there who would try to eat them during the PMS craving period. It would end badly.” Linda grabbed a bottle of water as a thought hit her. “Or, maybe not. They could eat the tampon, and it could absorb some of the water from the bloating.”
Precocious laughed. “Oh, man, I’m going to block the last few sentences that you just said from my head. That’s too disturbing for words.” She grabbed a handful of carrots and started cutting them into the pot. “Change the subject now, please.”
“Sure. When are you asking Tyler out?”
“I didn’t mean change it *back* to what we *were* talking about.”
“You didn’t specify. Sorry.” Linda hardly sounded sorry. “But I think you need to pick a day to ask him to dinner so that I can stop pestering you about it. I have other things to worry about, you know. Some of us make art on a deadline for a living.”
Precocious rolled her eyes. “You’re obnoxious.”
“And you’re indecisive. Pick a date.” Linda watched Precocious finish cutting up the carrots. “Pick a freakin’ date.”
Precocious glanced at the calendar on the wall. “Your exhibition is in a week?”
“Yeah.”
“I could invite him to that.”
Linda nodded. “Very good. Don’t forget to warn him that I paint abstracts about my girly bits. I wouldn’t want him to find out mine look better than yours.”
“Jesus Christ. It’s a date to your crazy art exhibition. It’s not first-date sex.”
“As far as you know.” Linda grinned at the look Precocious gave her. “He’s cute. He’s a good conversationalist. He likes the double-decker burgers. Maybe he’s good in bed. It couldn’t hurt.”
“I don’t need to find out on the first date.”
“Says you.”
“I have to run it by Zachary in the first place. He’s known Tyler for a long time, and I don’t feel right about asking him out before Zachary finds out that I might. It would be rude.”
“Like you care about being rude.”
Precocious pointed her knife at Linda. “The guy signs my very healthy paycheck every two weeks. I do so care about being rude.” She finished with the carrots and picked up the celery. “What if he says no?”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just go uber-girl on me and ask such a stupid question. If he says no, he says no. They’ll be plenty of starving artists with multiple piercings looking for action at the show. I’ll set you up.”
“Oh, gee, when you put it that way, how can a girl say no?” Precocious tossed a bit of celery at Linda and gestured to the freezer. “You want to get the bread out and throw it in the microwave to defrost? It’ll go good with the soup.”
“Got it.” Linda opened the freezer and retrieved the bread. She tossed it into the microwave, set the timer for ten minutes, and walked over to sit at the table in the far end of the living room that served as the dinette. “So, if he’s coming to the exhibition in a week, you’ll want to ask him out a few days in advance so that he’ll have time to pencil you into his schedule.”
“Thank you, Helen Gurley Brown. Gee, how could I have figured it out for myself without such a “Cosmo”-esque bit of advice?”
Linda balled up a napkin and threw it at Precocious. It landed in the soup pot. “Leave it there. It’ll be good for the taste. And stop being an ass.”
I give you the last page and a half of the NaNo that should have posted with the first entry.
“Careful the estate of Georgia O’Keefe doesn’t find out.”
Linda chuckled. “I don’t think they’d mind. It’s still under debate whether Georgia O’Keefe meant for her paintings to look like flowery vaginas.”
“Do you think that’s where the tampon companies got the stupid idea to scent everything with ‘fresh scent’ and ‘summer breeze’?”
“I have no idea.” Linda hopped off the counter and opened the fridge to find something to drink. “The whole thing is preposterous, anyway.”
Precocious didn’t bother agreeing. They were into an age-old conversation that they had whenever they needed to distract themselves or were on their periods. “They could at least make them smell like something good. Why not ‘chocolate sprinkle’ tampons?”
“Because there are people out there who would try to eat them during the PMS craving period. It would end badly.” Linda grabbed a bottle of water as a thought hit her. “Or, maybe not. They could eat the tampon, and it could absorb some of the water from the bloating.”
Precocious laughed. “Oh, man, I’m going to block the last few sentences that you just said from my head. That’s too disturbing for words.” She grabbed a handful of carrots and started cutting them into the pot. “Change the subject now, please.”
“Sure. When are you asking Tyler out?”
“I didn’t mean change it *back* to what we *were* talking about.”
“You didn’t specify. Sorry.” Linda hardly sounded sorry. “But I think you need to pick a day to ask him to dinner so that I can stop pestering you about it. I have other things to worry about, you know. Some of us make art on a deadline for a living.”
Precocious rolled her eyes. “You’re obnoxious.”
“And you’re indecisive. Pick a date.” Linda watched Precocious finish cutting up the carrots. “Pick a freakin’ date.”
Precocious glanced at the calendar on the wall. “Your exhibition is in a week?”
“Yeah.”
“I could invite him to that.”
Linda nodded. “Very good. Don’t forget to warn him that I paint abstracts about my girly bits. I wouldn’t want him to find out mine look better than yours.”
“Jesus Christ. It’s a date to your crazy art exhibition. It’s not first-date sex.”
“As far as you know.” Linda grinned at the look Precocious gave her. “He’s cute. He’s a good conversationalist. He likes the double-decker burgers. Maybe he’s good in bed. It couldn’t hurt.”
“I don’t need to find out on the first date.”
“Says you.”
“I have to run it by Zachary in the first place. He’s known Tyler for a long time, and I don’t feel right about asking him out before Zachary finds out that I might. It would be rude.”
“Like you care about being rude.”
Precocious pointed her knife at Linda. “The guy signs my very healthy paycheck every two weeks. I do so care about being rude.” She finished with the carrots and picked up the celery. “What if he says no?”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just go uber-girl on me and ask such a stupid question. If he says no, he says no. They’ll be plenty of starving artists with multiple piercings looking for action at the show. I’ll set you up.”
“Oh, gee, when you put it that way, how can a girl say no?” Precocious tossed a bit of celery at Linda and gestured to the freezer. “You want to get the bread out and throw it in the microwave to defrost? It’ll go good with the soup.”
“Got it.” Linda opened the freezer and retrieved the bread. She tossed it into the microwave, set the timer for ten minutes, and walked over to sit at the table in the far end of the living room that served as the dinette. “So, if he’s coming to the exhibition in a week, you’ll want to ask him out a few days in advance so that he’ll have time to pencil you into his schedule.”
“Thank you, Helen Gurley Brown. Gee, how could I have figured it out for myself without such a “Cosmo”-esque bit of advice?”
Linda balled up a napkin and threw it at Precocious. It landed in the soup pot. “Leave it there. It’ll be good for the taste. And stop being an ass.”
