For [livejournal.com profile] distaff_exile

May. 31st, 2009 11:58 pm
perpetual_motion: hang yourself please (damned sentient typewriter)
[personal profile] perpetual_motion
[livejournal.com profile] distaff_exile asked for Neville/Snape with wedding shennanigans.



"No," Severus says, mouth a flat line.

"I thought it would--"

"I am not having Honking Daffodyls honk out a tune at our wedding. It's obnoxious enough that I've *agreed* to a wedding."

Neville rolls his eyes and looks at his list of ideas. "Fine. No Honking Daffodyls. No cake with moving groom and groom. No tea service. No specialized vows. What *do* you want from this?"

"To be married."

"That's it?"

"That's the point, isn't it?"

Neville looks up, ready to explain to Severus what an obnoxious twat he is. But Severus is looking at him sincerely, tiredness in the lines around his eyes, and a determination to try in the way his hands are splayed on the tabletop. "You want to be married."

"Yes."

"To me."

"No; to the dunce of a Potions student in *this* year's class." Severus doesn't roll his eyes, but he doesn't have to. His tone--exasperated and a touch fond--carries the statement perfectly. "But, if you've five minutes and an ounce of sense, perhaps you."

Neville rolls up his list and tosses it into the fireplace. "Fine. Let's go to the Ministry and get married."

Severus's eyebrows go up. "Excuse me?"

"I want to marry you. You want to marry me. Forget the wedding. Let's get married."

"I thought we were going through all of this so that others could be in attendance."

"They can throw us a party later," Neville says and takes the floo powder from the mantle. "Unless you'd rather have to get measured for new dress robes."

Severus stands and shakes out his robes. "Rings?" He asks.

"We'll stop at Jenkins' Jewelry Jabberwocky." Neville holds out to floo powder to Severus. "Shall we?"

"Yes," Severus agrees and takes a pinch of floo powder.


I've had a few, folks [we had friends over for dinner. One is a bartender.]. Name me something, and I'll throw together something unbetaed and fun [by the by, I'm on a Nero Wolfe kick right now. Cash in on that.].

on 2009-06-01 05:09 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] fearciuil.livejournal.com
Aww. They're getting married. Nice.

Oh. Totally unrelated, but you may appreciate today's xkcd.

on 2009-06-01 05:15 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
Can you just see Neville trying to convince Severus to have a ceremony? Severus would give in so the conversation could be over, I think.

Oh, xkcd, I fucking love you.

on 2009-06-01 05:19 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] fearciuil.livejournal.com
I think the thing that most struck me in xkcd is that ... there's a description of Edward. You never got to one, did you?

Snape, Neville, ceremony. Yes. Severus wants the conversation over.
Edited on 2009-06-01 05:20 am (UTC)

on 2009-06-01 05:22 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
The guy at xkcd should get royalties for writing that description. It's about fucking time SOMEONE did.

on 2009-06-01 05:50 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com
Heee, Severus. <3

Personally? I'd want Scotty/Chekov. Making out, now with 70% more physics geekery?

on 2009-06-01 06:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
Lemme see what I can do.

::cracks knuckles::

***

Chekov gathers every kiwi he can find in the mess kitchen and carries them to the transporter bay. "For practice," he says when Scotty looks at him funny. "We have no prized bagels."

"Beagles," Scotty corrects.

Chekov shrugs. "Or those."

They put tracking chips in all the kiwis and send them all over the ship. It only takes a minor bit of prompting to get various crew members to send them rolling down the hallways and into various nooks and crannies in the decking.

"Why the hell are there six kiwis in my Med Bay?" McCoy asks at mess that night. He glares at Scotty and Chekov. Chekov looks slightly cowed. Scotty just shrugs.

"Fresh fruit is good for the immune system?" He offers.

"Get them out." McCoy pauses, half-turned from the table, and turns to look at them again. "By hand."

"Well, damn," Scotty mutters.

Chekov looks at Scotty. "He is here," he says. "We have time."

Scotty grins. "I guess we do."

They run back to the transporter bay, Chekov shows Scotty the equation, and soon there are six kiwis and a nurse in front of them.

"It worked!" Scotty crows and slings an arm around Chekov.

"How did I get here?" The nurse asks as she lets go of a kiwi.

But Scotty, running high from the success, is kissing Chekov; one hand in Chekov's hair, the other pressing against his cheek.

"I'll see myself out," she says and walks out the door.

Chekov smiles when Scotty pulls away. "I get that for kiwis?" He asks.

"Wait 'til you see what you get for watermelons."

on 2009-06-01 06:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com
*giggles* Kiwis and transporter are always, always awesome. Hee!

*hug!*

Did you see mah comment-ficlet thingy? Or did it suck real bad? *curious*

on 2009-06-01 06:16 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
I saw it! I loved it! Four stars!

[Also, I totally have a scene like this one all planned out. It involves Chekov, a bunch of rubber balls, and an away team who are told to "kick the hell out of them", so that they can practice transporting moving objects.]

on 2009-06-01 06:19 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com
Yay! :D

Also? :O

THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME.

Now I'm thinking of those tiny super bouncy balls. That would be awesome.

Or, ooh! That one destructive, glowy bouncy ball from Men in Black that was responsible for a massive power-out in NYC or something. That would be neat. And destructive.

And Scotty and Chekov could go have sex somewhere. :D

on 2009-06-01 06:29 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
Oh, there will be victory sex. So much victory sex.

on 2009-06-01 06:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com
No one will be able to raise Scotty or Chekov on the comm for at least an hour. If not more. :D

Oh! I found a S/C fic.

*spreads love*

on 2009-06-01 06:34 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
::bookmarks::

I must go to bed. Laundry day tomorrow. I'm keeping my browser open so I don't lose this gem.

[Mmm. ACCENTS.]

on 2009-06-01 06:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] leaper182.livejournal.com
I should go too. I have the early shift tomorrow. :(

And omg, yes, it's made of love. :D

on 2009-06-01 08:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lovefromgirl.livejournal.com
SQUEAL.

that is all. ♥

on 2009-06-02 06:15 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
Yay! I was hoping you'd find it to your liking. :)

on 2009-06-02 06:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] cathedral-junki.livejournal.com
i think you are the only one who can write Snape/neville and i'll read it. But you could always prove me wrong. You know anyone else who rocks these two? Cause i'm always looking for fic recs. Srsly though, i love these two when you write them. Question, how old do we think Snape is? Cause that's one hell of an age difference.

on 2009-06-02 06:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] perpet-fic.livejournal.com
The age difference, according to the Lexicon, is about 20 years. Given the wizarding lifespan, however, I think 20 years doesn't mean as much, you know?

There's a story called "Night-Blooming Heartsease" that's Angry!Snape/Scared!Neville. It's brilliant, but it's a hard, hard read. Worth it, if you can jump the emotional hurdles. I wish I had the link, but I seem to have misplaced it.

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