STOP

[perpetual_motion]

Dear New!Trek Fandom:

Trek's been around longer than most of you have been alive. Kirk/Spock has been around for 40 years.

40 years.
40 motherfucking years.

You call it "Spork" again, I will saw off your fucking thumbs with a spork.

If you don't have the two fucking seconds it takes to write out, "Kirk/Spock", you don't have the fucking time to write.

So don't.

Show me your thumbs!

Comments

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Fandom is doing wh--

:-O

Oh... Oh, God.

*cries and wants Scotty/Chekov*

I want to see virginal!Chekov. Written well. It's a kink. Don't judge me!

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

There Sulu/Chekov on newtrekslash that has virginal [but not totally helpless] Chekov.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Nooooo, no Sulu. Sulu is made of awesome and fencing love, but there is only Scotty.

*cuddles her Scotty plushie protectively and gives him a Chekov plushie to cuddle*

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

Were I not such a fan of Chekov being a touch of a floozy, I would write you virgin!Chekov. But I cannot. Because hotter than a 17-year-old genius with a fabulous smile is a 17-year-old genius with a fabulous smile and skill at a blowjob.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Hrmmm. There is indeed the allure of Chekov being able to make Scotty drop tools because of surprise!blowjob.

But, my question is, how much experience does he really have? Yes, he's 17, and a genius, but would he have had the time in between inhaling textbooks? He could've been the kind of genius that was passionately in love with what he was studying, much to the exclusion of everything else. When would the Academy have accepted him? When would he have gotten his experience to the point that he's damn good at blowjobs?

Inquiring minds want to know!

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

Don't put these ideas in my head right now. I have other ideas in my head right now.

Shoo.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

D:

*sadness and woe!*

*hangs head in shaaaame*

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

I don't buy that at all. :)

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

I could probably find an empty aluminum can to kick as I morosely walk down a dusty, unpaved road?

Maybe a rock would be better. Hmm.

Still, I can be very quiet until you finish with your original ideas. And then I can pester you with questions later?

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

Of course. You've gotten the bunny started already.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Wait, what? Seriously?

*hangs head*

sorry...

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

It's okay. It's a tiny bunny. It can stay in the corner and gnaw bits of greenery and get bigger before it'll get obnoxious with all its hopping around and attention-getting antics.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Awww, mini-bunny.

*picks up the wee bunny and heads for the corner, offering a small bit of greenery and petting it very, very gently*

I dunno what kind of bunny it is, but teeny things are usually very cute.

[fearciuil.livejournal.com]

::see icon::

You know it's going to grow up into that.

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

They turn into plot tribbles after awhile. I can't quite track the mutation that causes it, but one idea will become two, and then will become ten, and that kind of reproduction is pure tribble.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Heee, tribbles.

Oh, Star Trek, you've had more than effect than you realize.

<3

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

*boggle* Have these nouveau fangirls never been told why slash fiction is called slash in the first place?!

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing no.

I fucking hate name crunching, especially when the ship in question has been around decades longer than the damned name-crunching trend. Kill it. With fire.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

*strikes a match*

Here you go. Fire. Use it well.

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

You're awesome.

::runs with match::

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think Quinto/Pine slash should be called 'Spork', just because they use the term themselves. LOL!

Long live K/S!

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

For Quinto/Pine? Yes!
For Kirk/Spock? No.

I am so sick of the combined names. It's so lazy, not wanting to write out two whole names and a slash.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

POWAAAAAAAR

oh cock. fandom ate my brain again.

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least it's GOOD fandom.

[Did you see the bit on TGS with the fake makeover for Jeremy? Laughed my ass off.]

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, lord, so did I. Veering into uncanny valley, are we?

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

He looked so wrong. The new series starts in a couple of weeks. I really hope they mention it and mock it.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

"Jezza..."

"Yes?" (Very snappish, because he knows exactly what's coming next.)

Hamster and Slow in chorus: "Have you had your teeth whitened?"

[fearciuil.livejournal.com]

They're calling it "Spork"???

*gag*

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

You see my issue.

My gigantic, "If you've the time to write porn, you've the time to write out names" issue.

Shall we mob?

::brandishes spork::

[fearciuil.livejournal.com]

::seizes spork and joins in::

[cathedral-junki.livejournal.com]

*lights her spork on fire and runs to join you*

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

Ooh, fire.

::goes back for flamethrower::

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

Or 'Spirk'. Or 'Kock'. *sporfle*

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna go headdesk for awhile, should anyone need me.

::headdesk::

[fearciuil.livejournal.com]

*gags again*

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Fffff I'm okay with it because I think of 'Spork' as exclusively new movie and 'Kirk/Spock' as old school. But I'm not in the fandom, so. :3

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

This may be the only good argument I've heard about smashing name together. I still detest the name-smashing, but you do make a good point.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

Well that's just all kinds of stupid. Then again, I imagine there's probably a portion of people writing new trek fic that probably don't realize TOS existed. At this point I can believe in all kinds of stupidity.

(thank you for urging me to watch it, by the way. It was incredible : D)

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

YOU LIKED IT!! I'm so happy to hear it! And you were even happy with Spock?