Have I mentioned that Megan Fox is my nemesis?

[perpetual_motion]

lasergirl has Owen Wilson. I have Megan Fox.

A list why:

--She thinks it's gross that actors are basically prostitutes. She also wants people to know that she's totally not a ho-bag, she's just too lazy to act "proper".

--She would send Megatron to blow up Middle America because anyone not on the coast is a redneck bigot.

--She says she's bisexual but won't sleep with other bisexual women because they've been with dudes. Because boys are gross. But not so gross that she won't fuck them.

--She thinks Wonder Woman is a lame superhero and has obviously done no actual research on the character.

--She resents haveing to prove she's not "retarded". Make your own joke, folks.

--She says she's fat in "Transformers"

You know how there ares some celebrities who have charisma and charm and can get away with saying ridiculously stupid things because you want to keep liking them because they're incredibly talented or tell funny stories or love their pets? Megan Fox is the antithesis of that.

Megan Fox is now my nemesis. Bring it, bitch.

Comments

[cosmic.livejournal.com]

Dude, I know! People were comparing her to Angelina Jolie for the similar sex-appeal (though personally I think Jolie is hot like a hot thing and Fox looks like a plastic doll that's melting in the sun), she got pissed off. Because apparently being compared to an Oscar-winner who's the top-paid actress in Hollywood and does a lot of charity work was a bad thing? I don't even know.

I haaaaaate her so much!

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

Exactly. If she had more than a smidge of talent, I might forgive her a couple of things, but her as is? NO.

[looking2dastars.livejournal.com]

May I join you this noble crusade as your sidekick? I have similar feelings regarding Shy The Beef of whatever his name is. I figure we can get them both at once more easily teamed-up.

I can't stand Megan Fox either, for that matter. And not just because she broke the heart of that poor special-needs boy she claims not to have seen, even though she can clearly be seen snarling at him and his rose like a vampire faced with a cross.

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

You'll have to supply your own catch phrase, but I have plenty of tights.

Maybe roses repel her. I mean, they're naturally beautiful and enjoyable and she's...not. Wait, that's not fair. She was cute before she sliced up her face. But she's still not naturally enjoyable, so I'll stick with it.

I like Shia as an actor, but if I have to hear one more time about how he wants to fuck his mom, I may just track him down to punch him in the face.

[looking2dastars.livejournal.com]

... Okay, I hadn't heard that. That now gives me one more good reason to go after him. My list so far is...

1. Out-acted by Keannu Reeves in Constantine.

(Shiv was Chas Chandler and if you didn't realize at least five things wrong with that instantly, you're probably not a Hellblazer reader)

2. Had ruined Indiana Jones for me forever. Even the movies he isn't in, I have to think about how someday they're going to try and make Mutt Jones and the Dildo of Atlantis or some such.

3. Is being forced down our throats as the next great action hero by Spielberg & Bay, despite having no gravitas or ability to play any character besides "Stammering Idiot Man-Child"

4. Mocks anyone who owns a Wii is a "non-serious" gamer. Dude, get over yourself - sometimes a man just wants to have Mario pimp-slap Kirby around a Pokemon arena!

5. Refuses to play video games with Megan Fox because she doesn't take them seriously. While I wouldn't want to spend time with her either... well, that's because stupid women drain my urge to live. You have no excuse.

6. Is probably going to spawn with Megan Fox and have freak babies with duckbills that will be crying "Kill me!" as soon as they crawl out of her Playdough Fun Factory.

7. Creep Oedipal issues.